October 15, 2006
hai.. hows life... sem is finally over.. i am very happy that somehow i did my best for this sem, although it is saddest part of my life..
i dont know what is this im feeling right now,.. someone knocks in my heart.. kinikilig tlga ako pag nakikita ko sya.. masaya ako pag nakakausap ko sya.. i just wish, he feels the same.. pero mukha atang malabo un.. minsan i dont know to myself if im just strick and protective to my feelings..ewan ko.. lng bka if we feel the same.. un n cguro un..
feared 3:38 PM
July 23, 2006
last night, i realized that life is really too short.. i never imagined that life would be that easy to loose... i understand that no one owns our life except our creator... what my point is that, life is too short to waste; time, opportunity and chance.. As much as possible, we need to do things as much as we can.. just like what my prof says, "Do what you can do today, for tomorrow might be too late, or there will be no more tomorrow at all... " what i've learned is that, try to tell things to those people around us as early as we can..
Life is like a blink of an eye! As fast as we blink our eyes.. People, who we lived with today might not be there at all times..
there was a very important person in my life that once, i was afraid to loose.. She's been a big part of "raine's Life".. What she had done to me is what you can see to my principles.. Her existence is a big part where I can get my strength (unnotice but genuine)... We've been treated each other as mother and daughter. In fact, she's been a second mother to me since my birth. She fulfilled a part of my babyhood while my mother is in her work.. and I can say that she really loved me as her "niece" and i do loved her also as my "Tita".. Until to the point crisis came. It really shocked not only me but the whole family.. She really got sick and ill.. There was a time that i really dont know where to go when i heard what happened to her.. BUt I tried to be as strong as I can and to be a neutral not to show how really sad I am.! Those nights, that I thought I cant do anything for her was the nights that I PROVED TO MYSELF AND TO GOD, how firm my faith to HIM.. I always prayed for her, and Im so happy that God answered me.. And now she is with us... I can consider her as a "TRUE SURVIVOR" of her own battle..
To, you my dear Tita, i hope you take good care of yourself, coz we really care for you.. I know how hard, how painful and how miserably you had felt that time, I hope you have learned to value more your life and understand how much we loved you.. Sana, gaano man kame kapursigidong tulungan kang maging malakas ulet, sana ganun ka den sa amin.
feared 8:18 AM
June 28, 2006
hai... after a long long time,.. its been a month after i wrote here in my blog.. oh, well nothing change... i just hav difficulty in adjusting my schedules... but i could say that i have a balance week today..(hope so)..
let me start it:...
last sun wen i was with my church mates, i send a quote to some globe users, luckily, one of my friend, text back... i feel very happy, knowing that he appreciated the message...
june 26,
i was about to have my pagdadalaw.. unfortunately, i woke up late.. after i got my ROR, i decided to start the "paghahanap"... i crossed the path along the SB and EB,.. wen i was in the EB garden, someone uttered my name.. he says "raine,raine,".. wen i take a look with that someone, i was surprisedm because it was ... yeah, my friend, who supposed to be my first crush in college.. i am very happy to see his killer smile and the spark in his eyes...
june 27,
remember the person, i used to be my motivator in creating my blog,,? oh, well we had see each other.. thats it nothings really important..
june 28,
well i had a very very unlucky day.. because i wasnt be able to answer two questions in my exams,.. it was very sad... and i dont have my assignments yet... but luckily, my prof. gave us a chance to submit it... i also saw pampam..hehehe...
feared 4:34 PM
May 04, 2006
hai... after a long time.. nakapagblog din.. well, i got sick.. yes, but it is for me to keep.. anyways, i became too busy because of the Summer Kindergarten Program, it is a summer class for pre schoolers.. oh, well, yes, kids ages 5-7, they are my class.. i'm happy to be with them. Most especially with Megan, she is a 5 year old english speaking girl.. She made me feel stressed but she also delighted my day...
feared 8:32 AM
Many of my friends keep on asking me about LOVE. They always ask me why I don't have boyfriend. Some of them are trying to find someone whom they think that I might like. Some knows me enough and understands me. Some are excited who’s that lucky or unlucky man. Some are blaming me.
Well, first and foremost, it is too personal to answer that question because I'm the type of person who is not showy. I don't want to be seen by my friends much interested with that. Well, I guess we all have our own preferences, right? For me, it is nothing to do with the "age", right? It is not important to know how old you are when you love. What matter is the importance of LOVING someone and how well you can express it. And for the sake of knowing me then i will try my best.
All of us have our own definition of love. We all have our own standards of determining love. But if love means having a relationship with someone whether girlfriend or boyfriend, well I guess I haven't love at all. If that is the real meaning of LOVE then, what can we call to the love we have for our parents?
But if you are going to ask what love is then I will answer you in two things. The first one is what I believed in what the bible says:
Love is patient and kind; it is not jealous or conceited or proud; love is not ill - mannered or selfish or irritable; love does not keep a record of wrongs; Love is not happy with evil, but happy with the truth. Love never gives up; and its faith, hope, and patience never fail. Love is eternal.
Yes, that is what I believed in. You don't need to find love let love find you. As what I said in my previous piece, you don’t have to reason out when you love, that's why it was called falling in love. You just let it fall and happen, you don’t force yourself at all. I know that I felt it in a way, the way that I learned to regret. Why? It is just so happened that I did not let my heart a chance to be LOVED for a deep reason. What the reason is? It is not only by my religion but my own preference. So please, don’t blame me at all. I know I've hurt you. But you don't know how much I get hurt, trying to refuse my feelings, trying to hold my emotions. It's really hard to do so. Doing two things at the same time? Loving you and forgetting you? It's really hard to lie with your heart. I've been hurting for three times already and most of my friend doesn't know about it, even my parents, too. Have you ever tried it? Try it! So you will know.
At first it's really painful most especially when you always see things which remind you of the shared memories like songs etc. Isn't I'm correct? It's really hard. But I've tried. The first one is really painful because I've loved him for a long period of time but then I must admit he is not for me. Second one is more painful because, I felt embarrassed. Why? He fooled me. I really hate him. And I told myself that someday he will know me. Now, he's here but I just neglect him. The third one is the most painful one. Right now, I'm still in the process of healing myself. It was never my intention to love him because I know he would not be mine. But I guess, no matter how hard I tried our path meets. I don't want to blame myself either him. But, somehow I'm happy to know someone like him. And it would be a part of mine heart.
The second one was LOVING UNCONDITIONALLY. Yes, unconditional love. No matter the hindrances, I still found myself loving them. They only differ in instances but I never knew that I fell for them.
In love, you don't have to reason out, why you loved that person. For it is not your mind who feels, it's your heart. As the quote says "don’t ask who, for love doesn't choose. Don't ask what, for love can give all. Don't ask how long, for love is forever. And lastly don't ask why, for love has no reason."
Too much to know about me…
feared 7:23 AM
March 28, 2006
hai... wat a day di koh lam kung matutuwa ba ko o hindi eh.. kasi nman si pampam noh, asar akala ko pa nman grades na namin ung nandun sa mail nya un pla hindi.. nagtanong pa kung nareceive ko na.. eh sya nga ung responsible para makita ko ung grades ko eh.. asar..
feared 4:46 PM
hai.. well well well, im back from overnight in cavite.. as in.. muntik na akong malunod... buti na lng si kuya jimboy, nakita kami..wahaha.. hindi ko alam kung ano ang nangyari sa friend q, ganito kasi ung nangyari,.. nasa gilid ako dahil sinusukat ko ung lalim nung pool, suddenly, my friend called me and said, "sis, magbabantay nlng ako ng gamit",, so, i told her "sige",.. tpos nun bigla nlnga may humila sa likod ko at pilit nya akong nilulubog, hindi ko tlga alam, pero nung time na un, nsa isip ko na nalulunod kami.. tlga we keep on pushing each other.. wat i did, kinuha ko ung kamay niya at bimitawan ko, ksi nga natutulakan kami palubog, nung binatawan ko ung kamay niya ngstart na kong mag pa float, tpos may kamay na sumagip saken, and un si kuya jimboy na pla un buti na lng tlga..
the lesson ive learned never go to the place na hindi mo na abot... sobra parang ayaw ko ng mahswimmming... natakot na ako.. at pati pagtulog ko nagugulo dahil naaalala ko parin.. it is really traumatic...
anyways thanks kay GOD, He saves me...
feared 4:18 PM
hai... after a traumatic days, nakapagblog din.!
March 17- sobrang kakatouch po tlga xe nman masaya ang ending ng day q dhil si pampam nakausap q... take note tumabi pa xia saken tpos nagtanong at kumanta wow, todo kilig tlga..
sad to say wen i was in the tribute i really felt hurt..! why...? i dont know also bsta i felt hurt i knew that eyes (code name) has a girlfriend.. i really dont know why, but i know i dont hav feelings to him,... pero sbi ng kapatid ko, ayaw ko lng daw aminin na may gusto ako.... ewan bsta ang gulo..
feared 4:00 PM
March 23, 2006
hai.. quite long to post.. well, i just came in to express what i feel right now.. i'm happy to know that i have a flat 1.0 in our learning.. and of course the activity that we had made in personality. and somehow to see my final exams score sa stats, tpos xempre ung picture picture namin... and of course to see pampam...
but unforunately, i was hurt.. i did not mean anything when i said my grade in asian civ.. i did not tell him to compare our grades.. anyways, its not my problem anymore.. gtg, i need to study in asian civ..
feared 12:36 PM
March 18, 2006
i just cant help to see myself thinking of you..
you are always on my mind...
whenever i see your eyes..
it's like watching a star sparkling..
whenever i hear your voice..
it seems like hearing a song of an angel..
i really felt happy,
to watch over you
to have a stolen glance,
that would make my heart race..
the way you talked, the way you glance,
the way you greet, the way you smile,
is something that makes me feel strange
something to keep inside the heart...
i cant help but i admit
there something in you
made me changed nor enhance
it seems like completing myself..
and the moment we met
would always be remembered
the time we talked
would always be heard..
i love you the way you used to be
i love you the way i used to be
i hope one day, we'll love each other
the way we used to be...
--->posted by eniar<---
feared 4:13 PM
hai.. continuation..
March 16 - what a day.. magkasabay kme ni pampam sa gate hehehe... im so lucky to see him first thing in the morning kahit na im so badtrip dahil sa jeepneydriver.. after that when i went to the CR, paglabas q,.. he was there also.. as in.. la lng kilig ba..? then after that wen we are inside our room, he came in.. whahaha.. so lucky day..
pm- grabe pumunta aq sa quiapo, for our special gatherings of CBI..., im so happy to see may CBians.. and si ... wla lng he greeted me,.. during the teachings, i was surprised with the lesson and happy to hear about it.. why..? because of these things to be remembered..
---> huwag makisama sa mga taong walang kabuluhan..
---> huwag mag walang bahala
---> huwag makikipagtipan sa hindi kapananampalataya..
i must admit tinamaan aq dun.. but then i just realized something.. i almost forgot my goals in life, because i told myself to felt this way again,, but i realized that u cant control how your heart feels this way.. pero kakailanganin mo ung UTAK mo para magawa mo un.. oo, i admit im happy to have an inspiration but i need t be sure na hindi aq makakalabag to the LAW of GOD.. because it is much greater important than to my feelings..
feared 3:42 PM
hai... wat a day.. i just cant imagine that i washed clothes to day.. as in so eto my hands with sugat.. pero maliit lng.. kia lng sobrang hapdi nia.. what happened to me this week...
MArch 15 - hmm... wala lng pumunta aq sa quiapo para sumamba tapos inantay q si poL.. para may ksabay aq.. tapos habang nag iintay kame.. nakausap q si ka kris, nag katanungan aun ng open up aq sa kanya about the torture things about my life at this moment.. sobra naliwanangan aq kahit pano,.. tama siya nakalimot na aq ng konti.. "Kapag ginawan ka ng masama, kapatid man o hindi dapat gantihan mo ng mabuti".. but the problem is until to what degree ung kya mong gawin.. i mean tao lng din aq napupuno rin at nahihrapan din.. i am physically tortured by the things that surrounds me.. napapagod din aq umintindi at makinig sa mga PROBLEMA ng ibang tao.. at nagsasawa rin aq kakarinig.. lam mo un, hindi lng nman sila ang may problema ha aq din nman.. at ang masaklap pa nun hindi nila alam ung kalagayan q kya nagsasalita sila ng kung ano ano..im sicked and tired of hearing those arguments and problems of other people..!! Bakit, sila ba may time to ask me how dp you feel,, nalalaman ba nila sa bawat pagtahimik ko, ung kirot na nararamdaman ng puso dahil sa sakit nito.. Lam ba nila kung gano kasakit ang naLaman na you are sick.. damn.., mas napapagod aq,, the sad part is to accused me of things which i am not used to be.. TAO lng aq.. sana kahit minsan huwag nmang maging pabigat...
thanks ka kris for reminding me.. "Huwag dapat mabuhay ka poot"
im so happy i was enlightened..
feared 3:19 PM